Help
by Aranna Undomiel
Summary: [Tag for 5x01.] Sebastian's thoughts during the episode. 'He can feel his heart slowly breaking to pieces; each word coming out of the other boy's mouth carving away another part...'


**Help**

**By **

**Aranna Undomiel**

* * *

As I was watching 5x01 and Sebastian appeared, I nearly squealed in happiness, before realising that this was not Seblaine, but Klaine and Sebastian would have to help Blaine propose to Kurt. And even though Blaine's words to Kurt were making me weak in the knees, my Seblaine muse was going ballistic and that lead to this fic…

Hope you'll enjoy reading it :D

* * *

Warbler practice had started off as normal as all the other practices before, when the entrance doors flying open caught his attention. Raising an eyebrow in question as to what this intrusion was about, he was startled to find the answer being Blaine and the rest of his motley New Directions crew waltzing in, singing a Beatles-song of all things. Despite trying to, he could not help the grin breaking out as Blaine grabbed his hand, forcing him to abandon his clipboard and join the others as they flocked around the smaller brunette.

Hazel eyes flitted in his direction and his heart surged at the happiness and pleading radiating from that look. Blaine had come here, to him, for help. That had to mean something right? Unable to stop his traitorous heart from overflowing with hope, he clapped and grinned along with the rest, eyes solely focused on Blaine. He watched as Blaine turned to Trent, Nick and the rest of the Warblers who were just filtering in; presenting his grand plan to propose to Kurt…

* * *

He isn't really sure when chasing Blaine changed from being fun to being something else, but this moment proves what he has been denying a long time: Blaine has managed to break through his walls and nestle himself in his heart…

* * *

His gasp of shock is lost in the exited chatter around him and he quickly composes himself. As Trent's words start to register, his whole body starts to scream in denial, urging him to tell Blaine how he feels, that he shouldn't marry Kurt and he most certainly is not helping Blaine propose him. But as he cuts off Trent from making the decision, his gaze lands on Blaine; who is looking at him, fear shining through the hopeful pleading look and his heart breaks. Stealing himself, he yells out for the voting to start and he convinces himself that the overwhelming joy and gratitude rolling off Blaine is worth it…

His body stills as Blaine approaches him, murmuring something in gratitude; and his breath catches in his throat as he is enveloped in the smaller boy's arms. Own arms rising on their own accord, he closes his eyes, trying to memorize every detail of this moment. The way Blaine fits so perfectly in his embrace, the warmth of the brunette's hands on his back and his breath in his neck coming in soft pants; the way he smells of hair-gel and something so undeniably Blaine. All too soon, the moment is over and he forces his arms to let go off Blaine, composure momentarily lost, but no one seems to notice, Blaine least of all as he is surrounded by other people hugging him. He lets himself fall to the back of the group, laughing and reacting whenever it seems required, before he at last excuses himself, ignoring the look in Nick's eyes as they follow his retreat…

* * *

The next few days are hell as they rehearse for the proposal over and over. He settles in a rhythm; eating, sleeping and school. He jokes with Blaine and while part of him is happy for this opportunity for friendship, the other part is devastated that there can't be anything more. He notices Nick and Jeff hovering, even more than they usually do, but he refuses to acknowledge that fact or what it could mean. He doesn't need a support-system; he knows how it feels to have your heart broken. He has fixed the walls around his heart once before without anyone to help him and he is sure he can do it again. Even better this time, so there will not be another Blaine managing to slip past his defences again. But he has to admit he appreciates the gesture they make by placing him behind everyone at the moment of the proposal.

The night before the big day, he can't sleep; thoughts and what-if's tripping over each other in his head, keeping him up wandering through the hallways. By the time Kurt arrives the next day, his brain is hazy with the lack of sleep, but his body is wound tight from the coffee he has been drinking all day. He feels pleasantly closed off from all the things that are happening around him. He can't even find it in him to glare at Kurt as the other boy is led by; instead he keeps on his fake grin and dances along with the other Warblers. He promised himself to hold his tongue, to not ruin Blaine's day. Blaine deserves happiness and – he never thought he would ever say this – if Kurt brings him that, maybe for once he has to be the bigger man and take a step back.

He keeps his gaze fixed on Blaine, who is beaming; smile growing with every step Kurt comes closer to him. As Blaine starts talking, he can feel his heart slowly breaking to pieces; each word coming out of the other boy's mouth carving away another part. He lets himself hope for a few moments that Kurt is going to say 'no', desperately wanting to be the one to comfort Blaine and show him he cares, but at the same time feeling guilty that he would wish his pain for Blaine too. Lost in his thoughts, he misses Kurt's nod in response, but his answer couldn't be mistaken.

He is sure he groans in pain from somewhere deep inside, but the sound is lost in the cacophony of happiness. Taking a moment to compose himself, putting his mask firmly back in place, he walks up to Blaine and studiously ignores Kurt. He shakes the smaller boy's hand, before drawing him in for one final hug. "Congrats Killer. I really hope he can make you as happy as you deserve to be…"

For one moment, a look of uncertainty flits through Blaine's eyes as he looks at him, but it passes quickly and soon the hazel eyes shine brightly again. "Thanks Seb. And thanks for your help; I couldn't have done this without you guys!" Blaine smiles at him gratefully, before pulling Kurt towards them, who, after taking one look at him, kisses Blaine fiercely and wraps his arms around the hazel-eyed boy, before smirking at him. Quirking an eyebrow in a challenge, Kurt kisses a confused looking Blaine again, while locking eyes with him. He can feel the final piece of his heart shattering at that moment, at the realisation that Kurt will do everything in his power to keep him from Blaine; before his temper takes over. He grits his teeth and is sorely tempted to use his balled fists to punch that victorious smirk of Kurt's face, when a hand on his right arm and on the small of his back softly guide him backwards. Nick's dark eyes look at him with pity and he feels his anger flare, before it fizzles out and his feelings threaten to swallow him. He waves Nick off briskly and the other boy sighs before he too steps forward to congratulate Blaine and Kurt.

Soon after, the whole group starts trickling towards the main hall, where refreshments have been set out; but he cannot get his body to move. Thoughts and feelings tumble around in his head and he feels like he is drowning, with no one there to save him. And now there is no one left for who he would try to save himself…

* * *

The End

* * *

Well, that's it. I would love to hear what you thought of this, so please review and make my day :D


End file.
